- In four or however many years it takes, they can lead to having a bachelor’s degree in (fill in the blank).
- They teach how to “learn/think/read/write/speak/communicate/etcetera better/more creatively/etcetera.”
- They teach background information that may be useful in a future job.
- They can make for fascinating conversations with friends and others.
- They “broaden one’s mind.”
These reasons are all great and I do appreciate them (and also know that many people could come up with many more reasons, but they are not relevant to me right now), but as someone I was talking to recently said to me, maybe following academic pursuits full-time just isn’t where my heart is at right now. At this point in my life, I want something with some more immediate returns. We’re living in a culture geared toward instant gratification after all, aren’t we? Just joking about that (well, only partly). I used to think that if I wasn’t spending a ton of energy on academics that I wasn’t working to my full potential. I expected myself to do that just because I knew that I could do so well academically without ever really stopping to wonder why. Sure, I enjoy learning about a whole bunch of different subject areas and I’ve gotten good enough marks in these things, but so what? I also love to dance. Going back to Brandeis in January would mean that I’d be a full-time student squeezing in other stuff when I could get the time. Staying here means that I can be a part-time student, have more of a job, take dance classes, and explore other activities more. Brandeis and other colleges tend to have a million and one clubs and activities available, but who really has the time and energy to take advantage of all of that stuff? My time at Brandeis was a time living under high pressure, high stress circumstances (given that I was also dealing with medical and social stressors simultaneously). That’s okay for some people, but if I can have the choice to explore more of what I enjoy, whether it be Spanish or some other academic area or photography or dance or something else without having to get so greatly stressed about it, then I’m going to take it. Now I have that choice.
Both of my parents as well as my sister have taken time off from full-time college and then gone back later, and I think it’s safe to say that it hasn’t done them any harm. If anything, it’s helped them. I hope it’ll do the same for me.
I’ll miss everyone at Brandeis – that’s for sure. I’ll just have to arrange some visits. It won’t be the same, but all in all it’s the best thing for me. I was sick and while I feel incredibly better, I still have to be careful not to dive too deep into something more stressful than I can be fully sure I’m ready to take. Chances are that I’ll be returning to Brandeis full-time at some point, but just not yet. If I don’t return, then so be it. Perhaps I will find another path to follow that’ll be more fulfilling to me than academics. Truth be told, a couple of years ago, I’d been intending on taking a year off between high school and college to work part of the year and to volunteer abroad part of the year, but I never got to do that. I think I need a bit more of a chance to explore because when people ask me what my major is going to be and I say that I’m “undecided,” I mean it in more than just the academic way. I’m undecided if I want my major focus to be Spanish or psychology or English or education or maybe even something more science-y or math-y or maybe even something that can’t be found as a major at Brandeis like dance. Maybe I’ll take up music again. I’ve always been interested in learning nearly any kind of dance that there is, but so far I’ve gotten to go seriously only for belly dancing. Maybe I can change that. I could get more into volunteer work like I used to when I was much younger. I can be more relaxed and make sure that what I’m doing is really what I want to be doing and not just what I’m expecting myself to be doing for no real reason.
Later, if I do return to Brandeis, I’ll be able to do so more confidently and intently, without worrying about getting dragged under by things that shouldn’t even be affecting me.
So there you have it. I am staying here.
