Ginuwine

Let me take a moment here to, well, you decide what I’m doing (being a typical girl? superficial?) :

Have you seen/heard Ginuwine? Certainly, I am behind the times in noticing him so, but damn! In case you didn’t know, I love fine abs and what that man has are superfine abs, without a doubt. Well, his looks are all-around warming, so just focusing on his abs alone does no justice. Usually, I’m neutral about mustaches and men’s earrings, but on him, I think almost anything would be tantalizing. Plus, the soothing voice, smooth moves..either alone would be cause for much notice on my part, but together like they seem to be in him is a wow. I am not an expert at all in these things, but that isn’t going to stop me from loving them.

Hate it. Love it. Be ambivalent. Call it what you want. Call some of his music baby-making music if you will, but whatever you want to call it or think of it, I’m still going to be playing it and watching the music vids over and over.

Maybe you don’t think this is worth a post. Maybe this is my way of procrastinating. Here’s a taste of Ginuwine music videos anyway:

Differences

Except for when he’s flying up, I really like this vid. Romantic much? Chyea. Clichéd? I don’t care. I’ve gotta love his voice. As for looks, he looks great as usual, and the dame’s pretty fine, too.

What’s So Different

Some people complain that the music video seems to have nothing to do with the song (unless it’s showing everything being the same, mostly unchanging). Either way, I still like it, even with (or maybe even more so because of) the quirky beats of nodding heads, pulsing dead meat and eyes, etcetera. Granted that the subject matter of the song isn’t very original, it’s true to at least those in the “once a cheater, always a cheater” school of relationship-thought. If all else fails (no!), it’s catchy.

Pony

It wouldn’t be right of me not to include this one, and you never know…some of today’s little ones might not have even gotten here without the existence of this song. Don’t make me explain. You know what I’m talking about. (P.S. Check out those abs and rolls!!)

I could go on, but I won’t. Homework much? Unfortunately… (Actually, it has nothing to do with fortune. It is of my own doing.)

Poem from my dad

My dad just recently found an old poem in his briefcase and gave me a copy. He wrote it very soon after my birth:

The Traveler

As once again the sun rises and
moves powerfully, silently
across the great blue sky.

Now, the breathing,
the pain,

and the red.

For just a moment,
all time stands still . . . and then,
starts again.

A life, a journey, has just begun.
The traveler has come to join us,
For a while.

Who will she be?
Where will she go?
What will she leave behind?

Moving on, we wait . . . to know.

(H.R. 12/8 8)

Cat Power…then I’m soft

Cat Power. Something about that music, something about Chan Marshall - her voice, her words, her mannerisms - just gets me. I know but a fraction of all that is Cat Power, but it catches me and it catches in my throat, being something that I can’t wholly swallow. Seeping into me, it makes my chest ache with a thrill or nostalgia or loneliness or love for things nonspecific. Maybe I ache with all those at once. I listen to her voice singing, delicately rough, and it’s as if it’s trying to exfoliate me from the inside out. It isn’t an obvious scraping or scratching, but it is rubbing away the dead cells or some unfeeling I may have. After I listen to (and/or watch) a song by Cat Power, I can’t help but to feel something. Maybe I’m over dramatizing the effect this music has on me and maybe another day I will be sick of it, but today this is where it is for me. True enough.

A view of the world through a child’s unclouded eyes. Crying fetal-ly. Looking too closely in the mirror. That’s the sense I get. That probably tells more about me than it does about Cat Power. So, while I’m on that track, let me stray further…

When I was younger, I thought I might grow up to be magical. I hoped I would. I wanted to smell like flowers without help from perfume, lotion, or shampoo. I imagined that maybe someday my eyes would actually sparkle. That my skin might shimmer at sunrise and glow in the night. That my hair would radiate light. I could be the girl of the love poems and the love songs that aren’t real, except that I would be, you know, real.

To be honest, I never really hoped for those things to be true of me. I knew it wasn’t possible, but I did like to think of it back then. What’m I saying…I still do.

Maybe I should think of having traits more honorable, more useful, but no. Even if neither this nor that has or has not to do with what I started out with, not now. I’ll save that more worthy stuff for another time.

So you see, this is what listening to Cat Power does to me. Or maybe that’s just my excuse.

The Greatest

Textures and such

I’m big on touching things, feeling things. I’m a sucker for nice textures. I’m the girl you see in the stores that, more often than not, reaches out to rub any shirt or pillow or stuffed animal that looks particularly soft and fuzzy. I also like the non-sticky, squishy gel feeling. For example, the shoe inserts that sometimes have blue gel parts to them - I have to feel those if I’m near them. Well, I don’t have to, but I really like to. You know those window clingers that look like thin jello? I love those, as in I love to play with them. I practically fantasize about eating those things (in a non-sexual way). Go ahead and put them up on your window, but expect my fingerprints to show up.

This brings me to my issues with gel candles. Those things are awesome and evil! Torn between preserving their beauty and wanting to squish them until I’ve ruined them… I could say more but I won’t, if only just to preserve the appearance of sanity. Plus, I just edited someone’s proposal for a medical experiment, so I’m a little low on writing steam at the moment.

Spilled coffee

Yesterday, I was on my way from one place to another, as people often are when they are traveling from point A to point B. Or B to C, or Z. Whatever. I had one of those fancy shmancy coffees from the Koffee Kat with me. Me being who I am, I managed to break the cup and spill the coffee down the side of my car, splashing a bit onto my jeans and my probably not washable mittens. It happens, and should not surprise any that know me somewhat well.

There were a few guys getting into a nearby car. They looked vaguely familiar, likely because they probably graduated a year or two ahead of me from my high school. Anyway, they each said to me in turn, “Oh, that sucks,” or “Man, that sucks,” or “That really sucks,” or some variant thereof involving “that” and “sucks.” This is acceptable. Then, one of them says, “If that happened to me, I would kill someone.”

K bye.

I don’t cry over spilled milk. I also don’t cry over spilled coffee. Best yet, I don’t kill over spilled beverages of any sort.

Fourth grade

Way back when…when? In fourth grade, that’s when.

That’s when I created my own website, complete with my own self-taught HTML coding and everything. I even had some dorky/ditsy site name like Neat-O-Sorts-Galore or Blue Icicle Dreams. When I say a name like that, I mean that those were the actual names that I spent a disproportionate amount of time choosing for my site. Look in my sporadically kept fourth grade diary and you will find a page of equally embarrassing, brainstormed site names with little symbols next to them indicating how many rounds of elimination each one made it through. The thing about site names like that is they don’t actually say anything about what sort of site it is. Scratch that. Yes they do. They tell the viewer, “Watch out! Prepubescent-girl-attempt-at-a-web-page ahead!” But I didn’t realize that then. Then, I thought those names were cool. Actually, I outgrew the Neat-O-Sorts-Galore one pretty quickly, but thought I was pretty awesome when I moved on to Blue Icicle Dreams, especially when it was written with a few ~s and *s surrounding and interspersed in between the words. As I mentioned, I was teaching myself HTML code then and getting pretty good at it for a fourth grader, I believe. Now, I don’t remember much of it at all, but imagine if I’d continued down that path…I could be a major computer nerd today! (Instead, I’m just some others sorts of nerd.)

Fourth grade was also the year that I started to lose touch with my then best-friend-since-pre-K. It was all because of a misunderstanding. Looking back on it now, I see that what I’d interpreted as her not wanting to be friends with me anymore was actually the combination of her social anxieties and my insecurities, but at age ten, I couldn’t see all of that. We found each other again in seventh grade, but it was never the same. We sure had some fun, creative times when we were younger, though. We found salamanders or newts in the draining troughs. We gave hair cuts made of snow to the cylindrical thing in her front yard. We threw muck at trees. We skated on a little ice rink her parents made in the backyard. We picked our noses. (Did I just say that? It’s honesty.) We went on expeditions to the moon via our refrigerator-box spaceships, complete with controls and doors and everything! (I miss those things!) I miss those times.

Fourth grade…my sister got sick and I got Sammy, my stuffed animal raccoon. My sister got forty-some-odd stuffed animals from all those concerned for her health. My parents thought I was jealous of all of the attention my sister was getting, so when my father took me to Meyer Drugstore to pick out a stuffed animal, it was their way of keeping me from feeling ignored. They basically told me so, or at least that’s what I can remember. The thing is, I was never jealous, but it was a nice thought on their part. What bothered me about that situation then was that my sister was sick and that whenever I was upset, others would automatically assume that the reason I was upset was that my sister was sick, when there was so much more to it than that. I still have Sammy, right there on my bed (call me a little girl, whatever). After I got him, I attributed special powers to his ears. They could transmit messages to those dear to me. One ear was designated to my dog, Zoey (may she eat biscuits in peace), and the other was designated to…well…everyone else! If I’d forgotten to say goodnight to someone, I’d whisper it in Sammy’s ear. When I was away at summer camp, I’d whisper to people/dog that I missed them, via Sammy. Another thing about Sammy was his nose. I put lip gloss on his nose. Why? It smelled good and was shimmery. Why else? I haven’t the slightest idea.

In fourth grade, three girl friends and I planned to perform a concert. We’d seen the Prince of Egypt and we liked its songs. I got a copy of a behind-the-scenes book that included the song lyrics, so I brought it to recess and practiced them with the other girls. We (Or was it mostly me? I can’t remember…) wanted to sell inexpensive tickets to a show that’d be in one of our garages or living rooms, where we’d sing the Prince of Egypt songs. I even made a program for it. It never happened, though. I guess the others weren’t as ambitious about it as I. If some fourth grader I knew asked me to buy tickets to such a show today, I would, if only for the cuteness of it. But then again, I’m a sucker for little people, and by little people, I don’t mean midgets. I mean little people - kids. And by kids, I don’t mean baby goats. I mean young human children. Not that I have anything against midgets or baby goats. Yes, I realize that it was very likely clear what I meant before I ever clarified it, but it pleased me to clarify.

Thought I already finished my fourth grade dealings with internet-hood? Wrong! Fourth grade was also when I went online and did things that just shouldn’t be done.

I started playing flute in fourth grade. When I was four, I took piano lessons, but all I remember from them is how the instructor would repeatedly have me put my hands on my knees because I wouldn’t keep my hands curved properly over the keys. If you gave me a second, I could tell you which key plays which note, but that isn’t because I remember from when I was four. That’s probably because I was trying to tune my flute and/or compose some uber-simple piece of music years later. Anyway, I stopped taking piano lessons because, well, I don’t know why. I just did. When I was in second grade, I learned to read music and how to play the recorder from my school music teacher’s daughter, who was still half a generation or so older than me. Before fourth grade started, I decided that I wanted to learn a “real” instrument. I’d narrowed it down to either flute or harp. As it turns out, there aren’t many harp instructors in Plattsburgh, and by that, I mean that there hasn’t been a harp instructor in Plattsburgh at all that I know of since Judy Tenenbaum moved away. So, flute it was for me. Later, an area music teacher thought it a shame that I didn’t take up something less common like the oboe, so that I could excel with it even more. I realized later that her own main instrument is the oboe, so I think she may have just been partial. Regardless, I began taking private flute lessons from Robin Cameron-Philips at the beginning of fourth grade, and the rest, as they say, is history. Who says? Oh I don’t know…the royal and all mighty They, of course!

Fourth grade, fourth grade. There’s a bunch of my fourth grade.

Mary and Bob

Mary: Give it here. What are you using that for?

Bob: I’m using it on the Teflon pans.

Mary: You are not! You can’t use that on the Teflon!

Bob: Teflon is not god!

Mary: On the website, it said that it is.

Bob: God is dead!

Mary: No! Liar! How dare you talk that way about Teflon? Teflon is god! The website said so!

Bob: The website is lying to you. Teflon is not god, because god is dead…then again, perhaps I am wrong. Teflon is not alive, therefore it might be god. My apologies.

Mary: Oh…okay.

End scene.

(Four and a half lines of that dialogue actually happened (with different names) and caused my nervous laughter. The rest, I took liberties with and to no purpose.)

Blood Diamond

I just watched the movie Blood Diamond with my parents. I am shaken and internally shaking. Blood ivory, blood oil, blood diamonds… “T.I.A.” they say in the movie, meaning “This Is Africa,” but it should not be. The character Solomon Vandy (played excellently by Djimon Honsou) says that when his son - then a forced child soldier - grows up, it will be a paradise. ‘Fraid not. Still 300,000 child soldiers in the world (according to my 2004 copy of this).

Last year, I watched the Invisible Children movie/documentary about child soldiers with my high school’s Amnesty group. Every night, families would send their children into the city so that they would not be stolen and recruited from the towns at night. I cannot fathom living such a life.

We are so many so fortunate who sit and read or watch about those less fortunate, but what do we do? What do we do? We sigh or cry. We denounce it and rant about its horror. Perhaps, we write a check or fund raise the money of others. We talk about it with others and tell them of what we’ve learned. What does all this do? Is it really going to have that much of an impact? Will it really make a change?

I know, I know. Every little bit helps, but I can’t help feeling that those little bits help such a small amount that it’s never enough. Too many are desensitized. We aren’t surprised to hear of car bombs anymore. There is so much going wrong in the world today, every day. Where does one even know where to start to care? If I start caring about child soldiers, then I’ll start caring about AIDS, then today’s slaves, then genocide, then genital mutilation, then child labor, then more and more and more and more and more! How to choose what to care for, what to work for and against?

I’ve raised a few thousand dollars for a worthy cause before, but there’s always so much more that is needed. I’ve taught myself and others about the Guantanamo Bay detention camp and political prisoners, but there is always more to teach and learn. If I give my own time and labor, not just my money and that of others, it would be but a drop of the ocean needed.

I am not being cynical and saying that it is best to do nothing. Perhaps it is easiest to just not care and give up on it all, but no. That is not what I want. I still believe in each person and each action’s value. It’s just…where to start, where to start…

Flight of the Conchords

I first stumbled upon Flight of the Conchords two days ago and I’m finding them to be quite excellent. FOTC is a two-man comedic folk band from New Zealand with an HBO show of the same name. I haven’t been able to watch the full show, but I’ve seen as much as I can at this point. They sing/say crazy funny lyrics with a straight face and look great doing it! Flight of the Conchords is made up of the big-lipped, oft bespectacled Jemaine Clement (Hiphopopotamus) and higher-voiced, curly-haired Bret McKenzie (Rhymenocerous). If you have talked to me lately or are planning on doing so soon, chances are that I’m going to be raving about these guys to you or just looking like a dork quoting them to myself.

“Come on sucker, lick my battery.”

Yep. Just like that.

Here’s one of my favorites thus far:

Business Time

Things that I particularly like to note in that video: Jemaine doing his sultry voice, Jemaine’s sexy dance, and the true meaning of business socks

To be fair to Bret, here’s a good one showing more of him:

The Humans Are Dead

In this, I particularly fancy: Jemaine’s robot voice, the two seconds of laser sounds, Bret’s binary solo.

I trust you know how to work your way around YouTube. Now go forth and FOTC-erize yourselves!

No free ice cream

For all those who’ve been getting excited for free ice cream from Cold Stone shops on January 7th, it’s time for disappointment. There will be no free ice cream. This article from The Grand Rapids Press explains the confusion. It was a rumor hugely spread and desired to be true, but only a rumor. Tough luck for those who wanted the free ice cream (who wouldn’t?) and for Cold Stone employees who’ll doubtless have to explain the situation to countless people on January 7th.

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